Belly

That post last week that said my belly was small...evidently it heard and decided to explode in the past week.  I definitely have a big belly now, and am getting pretty uncomfortable. But I know there is only more fun to come.

(I just ran into a student with my belly. I have no concept of the amount of space I take up anymore.)

Getting Closer

I'm currently 32 weeks along in this pregnancy, and I have to say that things have been very different this time around than when I was pregnant with Andrew.  Aside from the nausea at the beginning, I have generally felt really good.  I've had a few days of swollen feet and ankles, but nothing like what I had with Andrew.  I know there is still time....What really strikes me as different is how much smaller I am with this baby.  She is definitely sitting much lower in my belly, and I can feel that in my hips from time to time.  Everyone remarks how little I am, and the other day someone said I only looked about 5 months pregnant.  For now, I'm going to attribute that to the fact that I'm chasing after the most active 3 year old in the world. Unfortunately, I can't stop until he does.

Andrew has been talking more and more about the baby, and likes to pat my belly and say "big bellist".  He has helped me get out some of his old toys and still wants to play with them. He's also been much more affectionate lately, and knows something is going on. But I've been told by several people that he will inform you he is having a baby brother. 

Getting prepared for a baby girl has been different. I'm not the most girly-girl, so I'm definitely not into all the frilly stuff. But for some reason it has been hard for me to accept that I CAN buy pink things, and have fun with it. Maybe once she is finally here I will get more carried away, but for now I feel like I've done a good job restraining myself.

Ahhhhh....

This is a great description for my week.  I have been able to step back, take a breath, and relax.  How can I accomplish this? I simply just had to get rid of my husband and son, of course!

Brian has the week off but I, unfortunately, have to work.  He decided to take Andrew to Denver to visit his parents for the week, and I was able to join them there for the weekend before flying back on Monday. The plane ride was pretty relaxing, I will admit. I read a magazine and listened to some podcasts, and couldn't believe how fast the flight went.  Once I got home, the quiet of the house really hit me.  I have gotten so used to hearing Andrew thundering down the halls of the house, and having to watch Toy Story 24/7.  But now, the house was ALL MINE. Ahhhhhh.....

I will admit that I miss both of them, a lot. But I am definitely enjoying how relaxing my mornings are getting ready for work.  No dealing with a cranky toddler, chasing him around the house trying to get him dressed, rushing to get out of the house, drop him off at daycare at make it to work on time. Instead, I get to sleep in a little, check my email before leaving, and stop for coffee on the way to work. I am actually relaxed when I arrive at work.

Tonight I even have time to sit down and write this as I'm watching the weather forecasts, praying for a snow day tomorrow.  I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like to spend a whole day at home, by myself, with only myself to worry about.

Happy Holidays!

We traveled to Kansas on the 23rd to spend Christmas with my family. This was the first year that Andrew really understood Christmas, and he had a great time. As we were opening presents on Christmas day, Andrew shouted "I am SO happy right now!".  Santa brought him the trains he had been asking for, as well as Lightning McQueen's truck, and he has been playing with all of them for days.

While Brian had to go back to St. Louis to return to work, Andrew and I stayed and have been hanging out for the past week. We have been able to see his cousins Max and Erin every day we have been here, and he loves spending time with them. On Monday my mom and I took all 3 of them swimming at the indoor pool, and Andrew was in heaven. For a boy who sometimes hates taking a bath, he took to the swimming pool like a fish. It was almost a little scary for me because he had absolutely no fear about jumping in and trying to swim, but he still can't do it on his own. We'll have to get him in some swim lessons this spring so that he might be a little more ready for the pool this summer.


We will be heading back to St. Louis tomorrow, and it should be quite the event. Because Brian took the car back with him, Andrew and I will be taking the Amtrak train tomorrow. I cannot wait to experience this with Andrew, as I know he is going to absolutely love it.  Hopefully I'll get a post up about that after the trip.

Hope everyone is having a great holiday season!

Sorry!

It's been way too long since I've written on here.  I guess I assume most people see everything I post on facebook, but I do want to try to keep up with my blog for record keeping sake. I like being able to go back and read about different things I have blogged about, and now I get to add another item to the list of topics.

I am pregnant again! I actually found out I was pregnant on my birthday, which was a wonderful present to receive. It was a little bit shocking, as Brian and I had been waiting to try again until we were settled into our new lives in St. Louis.  Well, it happened on the first month. I'm due June 4th, the day after the school year ends and 2 days after Brian's birthday. Couldn't have planned that one any better!  It's been a fairly easy pregnancy so far aside from being nauseous 24/7 the entire month of October. But I'm back to feeling better, and have hit the point where I am outgrowing my "normal" clothes and am having to get creative with my wardrobe because maternity clothes are huge on me right now. I will start posting belly pics again soon.

We have informed Andrew that there will soon be a new baby in the house, and he does not seem very pleased about it. But I think the idea is growing on him.  It better!

Halloween

I think I'm getting to the point in my life where I really could do without Halloween. Sure, it's a fun reason to dress up and get candy. But I've started viewing it from a different perspective...the parent perspective.

As a parent with an almost 3 year old who has recently entered the world of being scared, Halloween does not sit well. Seeing all the scary costumes really freaked him out. We tried to go a party at a neighbor's house yesterday, and he would have nothing to do with all the people there who were dressed up.  I agree with him! I just don't get what is fun about dressing up as something dead or scary.  His preschool did have a Trunk or Treat event on Friday night which was much more my style, little kids in cute costumes.

I am honestly amazed at what some parents will let their children dress up as. There was one boy there last night who was probably around 10, dressed as the Grim Reaper. No thanks! I joked with Brian last night that maybe we should be exposing our son to swords and scary stuff so he would think it was normal and not get scared by it. And the girl's costumes are just getting too sexual. In a way, I'm relieved we don't have a girl and don't have to enter the world of girl issues.

Last but not least, there is the candy factor. Andrew has definitely inherited his dad's love for candy, and I will admit it was pretty fun last night watching him enjoy and marvel at his first Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. But putting a limit on the candy is so hard, and I don't want him getting sick either. The last thing I need is for this kid to have more energy from a sugar high!

A day of mixed emotions

Today is my birthday, a day that should normally bring happiness and celebration. As I've grown older, I have been able to find some joy in the day, but there is always something in the back of my mind about this day. Unless you knew me in high school, you probably don't know about how this day has a different meaning to me.

On my 16th birthday I lost a very important person in my life to suicide. It was a day that started off great, with my friends Anne and Danika waking me up and taking me out to breakfast before school. Also, my dad was pretty strict about me driving without an adult in the car, so my 16th birthday was a day I had looked forward to for a long time. It was a day that I would take one step closer to being an adult.

I remember sitting in math class, and one of my former grade school teachers came in to get me. She took me in the hall to tell me that Anne's dad, Dan, had died. I think the chief of police was there, too. I'm pretty sure I started sobbing, but don't really remember. At that point, I didn't realize it was suicide, I just thought he had died. We had seen him driving away that morning as we were coming home from breakfast. Dan was a police officer, and frequently went out to the shooting range to practice. That was where he went that morning when we saw him leaving.

Through the course of the day we learned that Dan had, in fact, killed himself. Dan had been a fixture in my life since kindergarten, and he often called me his adopted daughter because of how much time I spent with their family. I went camping with them often, and remember him always being around for an encouraging word at soccer games and swim meets. And now he was gone.

To this day I still do not understand why he made the choice to take himself from us. But in the years since, I have realized that I really don't think people who commit suicide are able to contemplate the impact that those who are left behind will face.

I often look back to my 16th birthday as the day I lost my naivete. The real world was now in front of me, and it has been a difficult world for me to handle at times. I have struggled through rough times in my life, but have always been able to overcome my hardships with the help of those who love me. For that, I am thankful for each and every birthday that I am able to celebrate and find joy in. Some birthdays are easier than others, and I never know going in to the day what I will feel like. Today has been an emotional day for me so far, I'm not sure why, but I really felt like I needed to sit down and write about it.  Thanks for listening.