Today is my birthday, a day that should normally bring happiness and celebration. As I've grown older, I have been able to find some joy in the day, but there is always something in the back of my mind about this day. Unless you knew me in high school, you probably don't know about how this day has a different meaning to me.
On my 16th birthday I lost a very important person in my life to suicide. It was a day that started off great, with my friends Anne and Danika waking me up and taking me out to breakfast before school. Also, my dad was pretty strict about me driving without an adult in the car, so my 16th birthday was a day I had looked forward to for a long time. It was a day that I would take one step closer to being an adult.
I remember sitting in math class, and one of my former grade school teachers came in to get me. She took me in the hall to tell me that Anne's dad, Dan, had died. I think the chief of police was there, too. I'm pretty sure I started sobbing, but don't really remember. At that point, I didn't realize it was suicide, I just thought he had died. We had seen him driving away that morning as we were coming home from breakfast. Dan was a police officer, and frequently went out to the shooting range to practice. That was where he went that morning when we saw him leaving.
Through the course of the day we learned that Dan had, in fact, killed himself. Dan had been a fixture in my life since kindergarten, and he often called me his adopted daughter because of how much time I spent with their family. I went camping with them often, and remember him always being around for an encouraging word at soccer games and swim meets. And now he was gone.
To this day I still do not understand why he made the choice to take himself from us. But in the years since, I have realized that I really don't think people who commit suicide are able to contemplate the impact that those who are left behind will face.
I often look back to my 16th birthday as the day I lost my naivete. The real world was now in front of me, and it has been a difficult world for me to handle at times. I have struggled through rough times in my life, but have always been able to overcome my hardships with the help of those who love me. For that, I am thankful for each and every birthday that I am able to celebrate and find joy in. Some birthdays are easier than others, and I never know going in to the day what I will feel like. Today has been an emotional day for me so far, I'm not sure why, but I really felt like I needed to sit down and write about it. Thanks for listening.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Potty Learning
Warning***Yes, this post talks about pooping and peeing.***Get over it. I'm a mom.
We have officially entered the world of Potty Training, which I am trying to look at as Potty Learning. Andrew has shown some interest in sitting on the potty, especially because all of his friends at school use the potty. The last few days he has wanted to wear underwear over his diaper, so I decided this weekend we would take the plunge. Last night I found some sticker charts online, and printed a few off to use as an incentive. I let Andrew pick his favorite, and we started the morning by him getting to put stickers on it for pulling down his own pants and sitting on the potty. There were a couple of accidents in the morning, and I learned that having tile floors and a leather sofa are helpful! I decided I needed a shower, and of course when I got out Andrew came running to me and he had pooped. Ug. Hopefully we won't have to deal with that again.
He continued to have accidents in the afternoon after his nap, and I was getting pretty frustrated. It just wasn't clicking with him. Lately he has been on a pancake kick, and we had them for breakfast, and he asked for them for lunch. Then he started asking for them for a snack, and Brian suggested using them as reward. BINGO! He sat on the potty and peed for a pancake.
And then while eating the pancake, he had an accident. Sigh. But he asked for another pancake and I told him he had to go potty for it. He did! Maybe this was working...
I decided he needed some time outside, so we went out to swing and play soccer. Of course, another accident. What's nice is I didn't have to clean it up. I changed him and let him run around in his underwear outside, and he seemed okay.
It was getting close to dinner, and he asked for popcorn and Goldfish crackers. I told him that he would have to sit on the potty and go pee in order to get them, and he did! It was amazing. Towards the end of the day I felt like maybe we had turned a corner. Hopefully tomorrow will be more successful.
We have officially entered the world of Potty Training, which I am trying to look at as Potty Learning. Andrew has shown some interest in sitting on the potty, especially because all of his friends at school use the potty. The last few days he has wanted to wear underwear over his diaper, so I decided this weekend we would take the plunge. Last night I found some sticker charts online, and printed a few off to use as an incentive. I let Andrew pick his favorite, and we started the morning by him getting to put stickers on it for pulling down his own pants and sitting on the potty. There were a couple of accidents in the morning, and I learned that having tile floors and a leather sofa are helpful! I decided I needed a shower, and of course when I got out Andrew came running to me and he had pooped. Ug. Hopefully we won't have to deal with that again.
He continued to have accidents in the afternoon after his nap, and I was getting pretty frustrated. It just wasn't clicking with him. Lately he has been on a pancake kick, and we had them for breakfast, and he asked for them for lunch. Then he started asking for them for a snack, and Brian suggested using them as reward. BINGO! He sat on the potty and peed for a pancake.
And then while eating the pancake, he had an accident. Sigh. But he asked for another pancake and I told him he had to go potty for it. He did! Maybe this was working...
I decided he needed some time outside, so we went out to swing and play soccer. Of course, another accident. What's nice is I didn't have to clean it up. I changed him and let him run around in his underwear outside, and he seemed okay.
It was getting close to dinner, and he asked for popcorn and Goldfish crackers. I told him that he would have to sit on the potty and go pee in order to get them, and he did! It was amazing. Towards the end of the day I felt like maybe we had turned a corner. Hopefully tomorrow will be more successful.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I can't believe it has been so long since I've last posted. Starting back at work has kept me so busy. I am enjoying my new school, but of course have a lot of things to figure out and work on. I am hoping things will calm down soon and I can get into more of a routine.
Andrew has been doing an awesome job transitioning into his new school. There were a few rough days and lots of tears shed by both him and I, but now he happily runs in and will hardly stop to say goodbye to me. He also received his first backpack last week, which has helped him be more excited about going to school. One of the greatest things about his school is that they have a big indoor gym area, so when it is too hot or too cold to go outside the kids can still have a space to run around. If you know Andrew, you know he needs that every day! He is so active all the time, and hits the ground running every day. Andrew is also learning so much at his school, and has started counting and reading letters very well. It is so fun to see his brain soaking in so much.
What I love the most is that he has started to sing. Every night before he goes to bed Brian and I sing "Hush Little Baby" to him, but now he will join in with us or even sing it all by himself. I love it!
Andrew has been doing an awesome job transitioning into his new school. There were a few rough days and lots of tears shed by both him and I, but now he happily runs in and will hardly stop to say goodbye to me. He also received his first backpack last week, which has helped him be more excited about going to school. One of the greatest things about his school is that they have a big indoor gym area, so when it is too hot or too cold to go outside the kids can still have a space to run around. If you know Andrew, you know he needs that every day! He is so active all the time, and hits the ground running every day. Andrew is also learning so much at his school, and has started counting and reading letters very well. It is so fun to see his brain soaking in so much.
What I love the most is that he has started to sing. Every night before he goes to bed Brian and I sing "Hush Little Baby" to him, but now he will join in with us or even sing it all by himself. I love it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)